I saw dead people (or where they are now at least) and the beach

I did a bit of a wander to find some dinner after my first blog but my walk to IHOP started to get me into a little bit of a sketchy area so I turned around and headed back to a supermarket I spotted on the way.  The Rock n Roll Ralph’s was a wonderland of selection with so many things that I wanted to buy!

Processed sugar overload!

Every kind of Goldfish you can poke a stick at.  

And yes, of course I bought the Mandalorian branded ones.

After a brief sleep of 12ish hours and being very confused because it was still dark I realised the blinds in the hotel are extremely effective.  And the LA midday sun is extremely bright.

The weather here is fantastic, warm and sunny, light breeze and dust and dirt everywhere because it hasn’t rained properly for 6 months at least.  Apparently it’s illegal to wash your car at home or water your gardens more than twice a week.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Americans “doing their bit”, bloody softies.

After getting a T-Mobile sim and finally being able to summon a Lyft I had a fantastic ride with Temekia, who called me honey and my lovely, through Sunset Strip and Beverley Hills to my first stop of the day.  

Just like going through Hastings, but not shit.

Wiltshire Boulevard and some traffic.  

I’ve almost gotten over the urge to grab the steering wheel screaming “you’re on the wrong side”.

Almost.

After some GPS and maps looking and U-turns Temekia abandoned me where I guessed my stop was, with a enthusiastic “take care honey”.  Happily it was the right place and I was at the easy to remember, just slide off the tongue “ Pierce Brothers Westwood Village Memorial Park & Mortuary”. 

Such a cheery place to start any holiday off, but definitely a tourist spot for the used to be who’s who.

Those trees are everywhere here! The greenery seemed particularly healthy here…

https://momento360.com/e/u/0533455d510147739afe9a489acd3db8?utm_campaign=embed&utm_source=other&heading=9.1&pitch=5.7&field-of-view=75&size=mediumWhere the rich and famous go

I hoped whoever put their lips on these washed them.  I certainly did.

I found the pair I was looking for, and so did an American family while I was there.  The mum was disgusted with her teenaged kids who had no idea who any of them were so instead we swapped locations of who we saw where.  The Dad said that Hugh Hefner started Playboy and one of the kids said “oh yeah, I know, I just googled him”.  He seemed to give up at that point and went off to find Dean Martin.

After some more wandering about I headed off for Santa Monica Pier and my first taste of huge crowds of tourists and people flogging all manner of tat.

Fools, they spelt harbour wrong.

I think the first mission of GTA V starts around here somewhere…

https://momento360.com/e/u/7d9f6c6fb2fa43fda8ed70cbaeeabcec?utm_campaign=embed&utm_source=other&heading=-112.47&pitch=2.55&field-of-view=47.23&size=mediumCan you spot the British tourists? I recognised them before I even heard the accents.

https://momento360.com/e/u/c83d687fc9ab45d0b19cf56b3ac8e067?utm_campaign=embed&utm_source=other&heading=269.51&pitch=3.57&field-of-view=75&size=mediumAt the end of the Pier, considered re-enacting the scene from Falling Down but then I noticed the water was not clean. At all.

The water is seriously manky 

Who is the next customer in the dysentery ward?

https://momento360.com/e/u/ff72997e23f245f1b586f962ebfef481?utm_campaign=embed&utm_source=other&heading=0&pitch=0&field-of-view=75&size=mediumI think I’ve driven down this beach a few times in GTA V

I got a fantastic frozen lemonade from Wetzel’s Pretzels – a proper lemonade with real lemons, but was still in serious need of a drink so I headed back up the pier.  There was a break dancer on the pier telling the crowd that if they were going to pay him it would need to be at least $20 each because he had to share it with his crew.  Not sure how that was everyone else’s problem but I decided to make it easier on him and gave my money to a homeless guy with a little dog.  I had a great conversation with him about how they aren’t dogs, they are little people.  After that he started singing to her about she was going to get some chicken to eat. Best decision ever.

Aw man, I have to walk up that

I wandered down a road and came across an open mall with a Tesla and a Nike shop on either side of the entrance, bastions of American consumerism so it must be good.  Let’s say there wasn’t a Walmart or Dollar General there.

https://momento360.com/e/u/b50678820bf54290968d97f8059a7c31?utm_campaign=embed&utm_source=other&heading=-379.83&pitch=-8.39&field-of-view=54.7&size=mediumNope, didn’t even bother looking in the windows although I did enjoy the freezing air pouring out of the doors as I went past.

Because when you need a cupcake, you need one now!

https://momento360.com/e/u/8590e14e9d3e47a1a5c2a15b3f1313c9?utm_campaign=embed&utm_source=other&heading=0&pitch=0&field-of-view=75&size=mediumThe Cheesecake Factory – or part of it at least.

At this point I seriously needed a drink and something to eat and was satisfied on both counts.

A Santa Monica Brew Works 310 Blonde Ale, a Coke Zero and a Lemonade.

I asked for a Nick Wiger but got a blank look.

Southern Fried Chicken burger sandwich with a good number of pickles inside.
Was told we don’t do chips and got these – I forgot that these are only called fries here.  Chips are thin, crispy and come in a bag.

Just a normal LA street…

WITH A GUY ON THE BUS STOP ROOF!  I guess he just likes keeping away from other people.

I had an awesome ride back to the hotel with Felipe from Columbia.  He drove like a madman on the freeway weaving through the traffic but his banter was top shelf.  He wants to come to New Zealand and is convinced it’s such a small place he’ll probably see me there.  Fairly unlikely the way he drives.

After some collapsing and resting of my feet I headed off to the apparently world famous Sunset Grill, which Don Henley named a song after.  Confusingly it only has Hungarian food, but that was fine by me.

A berry mule and a coke

My own body-weight in chicken schnitzel.  There was also a sizeable amount of potato something under all this.  I got through two and it was over.

Sunset Boulevard, and the Hotel on the left of the photo.  

This really reminded me of Napier on a summer evening.

Across the road from the Hotel is the Guitar Center, apparently a very famous guitar shop.  I didn’t go in but there was a bit of a hall of fame in the entrance.

Eddie van Halen’s guitar

Slash, Michael Anthony and Jimmy Page’s guitars

The handprint hall of fame

I guess the foot belongs to the drummer

I hope they didn’t dig up Freddy Mercury’s hand just to make this imprint

Dirty old AC/DC

Sitting here writing this I’ve realised that I haven’t heard a single crappy Japanese car with a stupid big bore exhaust since I’ve gotten here.  I was thinking that maybe over here there isn’t anyone with such an inferiority complex to need one.  Then I heard a huge roar and thunder from the street outside and realised they don’t need big bore exhausts here, they actually have cars with decent engines.  I can’t count the number of Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Maseratis, Vipers and Corvettes with a smattering of McLarens and Mercedes-AMGs I’ve seen so far.

Right, enough of this, tomorrow is another big walking day – down Hollywood Boulevard to buy tat, take photos of bits of footpath and avoid the street “performers” and their photo taking shenanigans.